the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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