I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
