If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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