google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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