AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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