so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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