Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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