You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
