He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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