And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
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The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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