You just made me feel so damn special
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
