Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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