we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
