If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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