? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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