So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
operation have a gay friend backfired
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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