Screwed.edu
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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