I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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