You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
