so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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