when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
NoShamevember. You game?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
