he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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