Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
