My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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