either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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