I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
