I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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