Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize