I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Panties = found
Randomize
