I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have aggressive nipples.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
God, I missed his penis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
