yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize