I'm going to jail i love you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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