Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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