Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
either way he was missing a nipple.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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