I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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