Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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