we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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