Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
