"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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