I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think i got beer on your cat.
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