new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize