hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
