So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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