she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
