Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
