alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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