Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said her name was "party"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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