I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
