I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
