Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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