why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize