capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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