Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
