How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize