So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
