Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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