I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
