apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
