maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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