can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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