Pappa wants mamma naked
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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