But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
