apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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