yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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