I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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