Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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